Friday, 22 January 2016

@Phil Script to Screen: Newer Idea **Textblock Version*

After receiving my OGR feedback I tried to add a more darker theme to my story.


  • Posters show new attraction, and then falls upon the Tattoo artist who is performing his act in front of a small crowd. Showing off his illustrated body of moving/living tattoos.
  • Crowd move on to next act around corner. Tattooist doesn't know act but catches sight of large curved glass. Follow crowd and stands in awe at large goldfish bowl. Ringmaster is whipping at a lion, hears crowd and turns to stand in awe of the new attraction.
  • Mermaid begins to perform and catch eye of Tattooist. After the act the two meet between the glass. Ringmaster watches on enviously.
  • Tattooist shows his act while mermaid shows hers. Tattooist paints on glass, Mermaid performs with the moving ink, attracting audience. Glaring at the in the distance is the ringmaster.
  • Tattooist visits her again but she keeps staring at everyone's feet. Ringmaster again watches. Mermaid gestures to her tail and to the Tattooist, the at the glass separating them.
  • Tattooist draws on glass to show idea of transforming her tail to legs. Both more cheerful and plan to run away together. Ringmaster holds up his whip and grins evilly as mermaid is waving cheerfully goodbye to the Tattooist.
  • The Tattooist returns the next day with several designs on paper in his arms. Stops in shock before running to an 'Attraction Closed' sign, and broken glass scattered on the floor. *
  • Tattooist runs around the sign and finds the Mermaid floating in shallow water. (Either alive with no lower half, her tail cut up into pieces around her, or dead.) Tattooist drops designs and holds Mermaid in his arms while the Ringmaster stands behind him laughing/grinning. Tattooist glares at Ringmaster and before standing up, grabs a design off the floor as well as his tattoo gun, and closes in on the now fearful Ringmaster.
  • New attraction on posters, and shows the Tattooist performing (either alone with a mermaid tattoo on his chest, or with the near-dead tailless Mermaid, now slightly more tattooed, sitting beside him.). New act which has a clear view of the Tattooist (Alone or with Mermaid), and is surrounded by audience jeering and poking at it, the Ringmaster now a morbid horrific monster covered in ink and monstrous tattoos.

  • *Alternatively, the Tattooist gets to the Mermaid as the Ringmaster is closing in on her. Goldfish bowl still shattered. Tattooist sees whip marks and cuts on Mermaid, who is helpless in shallow water, and grows angry, turning on the Ringmaster with tattoo gun in hand.
  • Tattooist and now Legged Mermaid character are new ringmasters but still perform as Tattoo couple, while the monster Ringmaster is forced to watch on next to lion pen which he tortured originally. Mermaid and Tattooist now together.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, well I can see how having the Tattooist and the Mermaid (with legs) running the show, with the former ringmaster as the new freak could be a good ending too. I just think introducing the lion etc. is a complication anyway, as in terms of screen time, you'll have a lot on your plate just in terms of getting your 'love triangle' plot communicated effectively.